An Inhuman Condition

“There is no need for the president of the United States to be smart. He can be hovering on the grim cusp of brain death and still be the most powerful man in the world.”
–Hunter S. Thompson

There is no justice, equity, rhyme, reason nor value left in the American political system. All is fair in airport-bathroom love and preventative war. The most obvious clue that our system of governance will not soon reflect any of the aforementioned attributes is the latest turn in our presidential debates. McCain, in a primal display of ape-like feces flinging, turned an opportunity to address any issue at all in favor of his favorite new fatigued catch-phrase: Joe Six-Pack. Between McCain’s desperate attempts to dress himself as a Clint-Eastwoodesque underdog, and his feeble pleas for votes from the pious poor in this country, one gets the feeling that this man is comprised entirely of crap. It is then fitting that political discourse is reduced to fawning over the comments of some plumber on the campaign trail, and one can see in a crisp, sober manner that our country is floating clockwise on a path deep into the shitter.

The debates are definitely the same Tijuana donkey show that they have been since I became masochistic enough to attempt following them. This is not a surprise, nor is it a fresh source of outrage. Every election year candidates gussy up in their best street-corner apparel, swear that this country has the biggest cock they’ve ever seen and proceed to fellate whatever sad percentage of the population is still naïve enough to vote. It might not be so bad if McCain didn’t still have his teeth, but it seems as though he learned to give a prison-camp blowjob quite well. It may indeed be the solitary talent he has as a politician. Obama, on the other hand, has a prettier mouth and the advantage of not being associated with the party that spat out our current dullard-in-chief.

What Obama has going for him might not be enough considering his unimpressive positions and choice of a stale saltine like Joe Biden as a running-mate. Obama did win the Democratic primary, but there is an often-used phrase about winning the Special Olympics that sums up that farce quite accurately. He has consistently failed to say anything that would distinguish him like Kennedy or Roosevelt. His vision of the future seems to be business as usual with a slight reconfiguration of the budget: a kinder, gentler capitalism. He hasn’t had the balls to fully call the Republicans out on their wet-dream, free-market policies that have crushed our economy over that past few decades. He is also in the pocket of the same interests as the Republicans. He has his hand deep in the cookie jar and what little voting record he has is nothing to be proud of.

This country needs a rock star right now. It needs someone who can act without consulting polls, focus groups and the AIPAC. We need a coked-up villain to kick our asses a little bit. Instead we have McCain playing costume with his Johnny Cash outfit and Obama trying his best to imitate R. Kelly. But McCain is no Johnny Cash; he is the same recycled Garth Brooks neo-con that the Republican Party has given us since Reagan. Maybe Obama can belt out a sexy melody like R. Kelly, but the problem with his tune is the lack of content once you move beyond the soothing rhythm. It doesn’t matter if the song sounds good; there is not one measure of a plan that could potentially fix the economy.

So no, it is not surprising that the debates were uninformative and ambiguous. What is disappointing about these debates is that it seems as though our country is having a crisis of faith. When the newspaper is a weekly reminder of the foreclosure failures that Fannie and Freddie have wrought upon the working class, maybe the problem isn’t a particular ideology regarding the free market. Maybe the problem is the market itself. Maybe we are now witnessing the final days of a country that has sat in the industry captain’s chair a little too long and needs a drastic gastronomic bypass of its spending and consumption. The people of this country know that shit is about to hit the fan, and it is a sorry day when the two candidates that are expected to find a solution simply throw the shit back and forth at one another.