The Girl of my Harrowing Dreams
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
Guns can make very convincing arguments. Few people will say no to a gun, and when they speak, anyone who they’ve made eye contact with is actively listening. I tell myself I’d rather be a motivational shooter and save my throat a few hours work. This girl: this fucking girl is the driving force behind my current dilemma. Picture the nicest girl you can think of, the type of person middle class moms once were. Picture her with enough disorders to make Freud’s unconscious tremble in the grave. I can’t decide how I feel because everything about her says land mine. If I like her or hate her, I feel bad. So I’m confused, and I’m starting to wonder why I bother with some people, and really all people for that matter. Days spent in isolation seldom end with disgust. Is it sad that a picture definition of schizoid could be a motivational speaker? I think it is too. What can you do though? I have this cult-leader personality that, while absolutely fake, hangs people on my every word. So instead of drinking some bitter Kool-Aide, I get them to pay money for absolutely nothing. It’s not as if people who need motivational speakers actually follow through with anything. You can bring a horse a map, but you can’t make him navigate.
Guns can make very convincing arguments. Few people will say no to a gun, and when they speak, anyone who they’ve made eye contact with is actively listening. I tell myself I’d rather be a motivational shooter and save my throat a few hours work. This girl: this fucking girl is the driving force behind my current dilemma. Picture the nicest girl you can think of, the type of person middle class moms once were. Picture her with enough disorders to make Freud’s unconscious tremble in the grave. I can’t decide how I feel because everything about her says land mine. If I like her or hate her, I feel bad. So I’m confused, and I’m starting to wonder why I bother with some people, and really all people for that matter. Days spent in isolation seldom end with disgust. Is it sad that a picture definition of schizoid could be a motivational speaker? I think it is too. What can you do though? I have this cult-leader personality that, while absolutely fake, hangs people on my every word. So instead of drinking some bitter Kool-Aide, I get them to pay money for absolutely nothing. It’s not as if people who need motivational speakers actually follow through with anything. You can bring a horse a map, but you can’t make him navigate.
